No Fear (No Shame Series Book 3) Read online

  Blake’s gaze traveled lower to Aaron’s crotch where his hard cock was clearly visible, perfectly outlined under the shirt and pants.

  “Oh,” Blake said.

  This was it. Surely Blake would walk away now, kick him out, even.

  “Is that all? Who cares?”

  In complete disbelief, Aaron raised his head. Was Blake joking? Was he somehow, in some sick way, making fun of him? Blake’s expression was relaxed, though.

  “Are you serious?” Aaron asked.

  Blake shrugged. “Normal reaction, nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “It’s just that you were…you don’t have a shirt on, and you smell, and now you were touching me.” Oh, crap, he should’ve stopped talking.

  Blake smiled, a smile unlike anything Aaron had ever seen on him. One corner of his mouth curled up, while the other pulled back. It was sexy, sinful, and absolutely breathtaking.

  “You didn’t need to explain, but it’s okay.”

  “You’re not offended?” Aaron asked.

  Blake arched his brows. “Why would I be?”

  “Because I’m gay.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  Aaron sighed. Wasn’t it obvious, even to him, a complete novice at this? “I thought most straight guys took offense when a gay dude, you know, notices them.”

  Blake seemed to hesitate a little before he answered. “I’m not straight, Aaron. But even if I had been, I understand that you’re still coming to terms with this part of you. You’re new at this, and it must all be rather overwhelming, so I can understand why you get easily excited, so to speak.”

  Aaron’s mouth dropped open. “You’re gay?”

  “Yes. But I’d appreciate it if you kept this to yourself. It’s not a big secret, but I try to keep that part of my life personal.”

  Aaron’s mind went crazy. Blake was gay. How the heck had he missed that? “Clearly my gaydar needs work,” he said.

  Blake smiled. “Don’t blame yourself. Not many people notice. Not even Indy or your brother.”

  That did make him feel better. At least it wasn’t so obvious everyone noticed but him. “Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked before he realized how absurdly personal that question was. What if Blake took it the wrong way, like Aaron was coming on to him? Oh, God.

  Something flashed in Blake’s eyes. “No.”

  Aaron blushed all over again. “I wasn’t implying anything,” he said quickly. Blake raised his eyebrows. “That I wanted to be your boyfriend,” Aaron added. Stop talking, he told himself. Holy moly, how deep a hole can I talk myself into? A very, very deep one, apparently. Like, Grand Canyon deep.

  Blake’s lips curled. “That’s good to know. Aaron, you’re fine. It’s all good. As I said, I know you’re new at this, so ask away.”

  “Really?”

  “Why does that surprise you?’

  Aaron bit his lip. “‘Cause you’re usually not too fond of my questions,” he finally offered.

  “True. I guess you’re growing on me,” Blake teased. “You’re like a little lost puppy, looking for an owner who will teach you how to be a dog.”

  It was a playful side of him Aaron had never seen before. He liked it. Correct that, he loved it.

  “No, Aaron, I mean it. When we met, you’d been beaten up for getting a signal wrong. If I can prevent that by helping you navigate a culture that’s new to you, I’m willing to do that. So if you have any questions, fire away.”

  “Really?”

  “Why do you keep asking that?”

  “Because I have so many questions and I can’t believe you’d be willing to answer all of them. Or even a few of them. I mean, this is pretty personal stuff.” Did Blake not guess the type of questions he had? He hated to admit it, but a lot of them were sex-related. He’d googled some stuff, but it was hard to find honest, real answers instead of either sexual bragging or porn.

  “I tell you what, consider it your reward for showing up for two weeks. You finish today’s workout and I’ll sit down afterward with you to answer any and all questions you have. Sound good?”

  It sounded perfect. Too good to be true, actually. But Blake had proven to be incredibly trustworthy so far, so Aaron would take him at his word. He’d better come up with a motherload of questions, because this was an opportunity that wasn’t gonna present itself again any time soon.

  Aaron was brooding on questions, that much was clear. He followed Blake’s instructions, but his mind was elsewhere half the time. Blake understood.

  When he’d first realized he was gay, he’d had a thousand questions. His mom had been too busy surviving, his father already dead—not that he’d ever breathe a word about himself to that asshole. It had been his school counselor who’d stepped up. A gay man himself, Mr. Faulks had been Blake’s lifesaver. He’d answered all of Blake’s questions as best as he could, had signed him up for jiujitsu so he’d be able to defend himself if someone took offense to him being gay. The man had even paid for it, knowing Blake’s mom couldn’t afford it. Blake had vowed to pay it forward. He’d helped dozens of abuse victims over the years, but here was his chance to repay the kindness Mr. Faulks had shown him.

  He was curious what questions Aaron would ask. His guess was that he’d start easy, safe, before moving on to what he really wanted to know. Sex. The kid had sex on his mind, for sure. Blake still made him finish the lesson, though. As much as he wanted Aaron to have the chance to ask questions, he wanted him to learn discipline first. It was what would help him succeed in life.

  “Okay, that’s it for today,” he announced. Aaron looked relieved. “You’re doing well,” Blake added. “I can already see you’re making progress.”

  “I am?” Aaron looked happy with his praise.

  “Absolutely. Your arms are getting stronger, you’re not out of breath anymore after the warming up, and you did six push-ups today. Plus, you’re starting to master the basic escape techniques.”

  Aaron beamed. There was no other word for it. His face lit up and it transformed his face completely. The kid was cute, Blake mused. If he changed his hairstyle a little and found his groove and place in the gay scene, he’d have no trouble getting attention. He wasn’t exactly a twink—too tall, for one—but at least he didn’t look like he’d break when you fucked him. Blake never went for the fragile types, too afraid they couldn’t take his pounding.

  “Blake?” Aaron asked, insecure.

  “Sorry, daydreaming for a second. I’m gonna grab a quick shower.” On impulse, he added, “You can start asking questions while I’m at it.”

  Aaron visibly swallowed. “You want me to join you while you take a shower?”

  “Not in the actual shower but yeah, you can sit in the locker room.”

  “But…you’re gonna undress in front of me?”

  Blake bit down his amusement. This kid had wanted to ask Indy out but was embarrassed to be in a men’s locker room? Holy fuck, he had a learning curve to overcome. “Yeah. Is that a problem?”

  When Aaron swallowed again, he said, “Look, Aaron, I know it’s awkward and uncomfortable for you. But as a gay man, you’re gonna have to get used to stepping into a locker room and seeing other men naked. It’s something you’ll have to learn to navigate, especially if you’re out publicly. Others will be watching you, so you need to know the etiquette. Come on, I promise I won’t bite.”

  He walked away, confident Aaron would follow him. He did, though slowly. Blake waited for him to step into the room before he started undressing.

  “Fire away,” he said casually.

  Aaron sat down, studiously avoiding looking at him. “I don’t know where to start.”

  “Start with asking me about locker room etiquette for gay men.”

  “Oh, okay. How are you supposed to behave and not draw attention to yourself?”

  Blake nodded. It was a start. He stripped to his underwear. “You avoid looking at body parts, especially guys’ junk. Straight men do it, but they get away with it. Gay me
n won’t. If someone talks to you, you look them in the eye.” He waited for Aaron to look up, but apparently the tile floor was way more interesting. “Aaron, look at me. Keep your eyes on my face.”

  Slowly, Aaron raised his eyes, his face beet red. So fucking adorable. “Ask me the next question and keep looking at my face.”

  “Erm, okay. I read that gay men are more promiscuous than straight men. Is that true?”

  It was a good question, though his formal language showed self-distancing. Blake pondered how to answer while taking his boxers off.

  Aaron’s eyes were glued to his face. Why was Blake disappointed in that? He’d love to see Aaron blush even more when ogling his cock. It sure was nice enough, if he said so himself.

  “Yes, according to the statistics. But men tend to lie when self-reporting sex, both gay and straight. So I don’t know. I have straight friends who fuck way more than I do, but that’s anecdotal evidence.”

  He grabbed his towel and shower gel, walked over to the shower. Right before stepping into the shower area he looked back over his shoulder. Aaron was totally checking out his ass. He couldn’t resist it and shook his ass. “Eyes off my ass, Aaron.”

  He didn’t need to look again to know how red the guy would be. He smiled as he turned the shower on as hot as it would go.

  “Ask me the next question,” he shouted out. Aaron would have to come close to be able to communicate. For some sick reason, Blake delighted in making the boy squirm a little.

  It took a while, but finally Aaron’s voice rang out. “How do you know what your type is?”

  Blake soaped his hair. “Close your eyes. Imagine yourself having sex with someone. What does this person look like? Or another way: what porn gets you off the most? Do you like two twinks? A daddy-twink relationship? Two muscled guys, or maybe a bit of spanking and bondage?”

  He rinsed his hair out, while Aaron apparently needed time to mull that over. As he was soaping his body with shower gel, the next question came. “What’s your type?”

  “Strong, but not too buff. Not too dainty either, though. I don’t want to be scared of breaking someone when we fuck.”

  “Do you…fuck someone regularly?”

  Blake suppressed a smile. The kid still couldn’t say the f-bomb without stuttering. It really was too cute. “Depending on your definition, but yeah, about once a month or so.”

  He rinsed off, turned off the shower.

  “How do you find someone willing to have sex with you?”

  Fuck, how did he answer that one without sounding either like a complete braggart, or making it way too easy? “I go to a gay club nearby. There’s a sort of code, a game, if you know what you’re looking for. It’s all subtle signals, or in some cases pretty blatant ones, until one of you makes a move and the other accepts. Then it’s on.”

  He slung the towel around his hips before stepping out. He’d surmised Aaron was sitting on the bench right around the corner. No need to swing his junk in the kid’s face when he stepped out.

  “Do you think… Would I be… Would somebody be interested in me?”

  Blake’s eyes found Aaron’s, the boy looking heartwarmingly vulnerable. “Kid, they’d eat you alive if you gave them the chance.” He hesitated. Was Aaron ready yet for the next bit? “You have to be yourself first, though. You can’t step into a gay club as you are now. You’ll attract the wrong kind of men.”

  Aaron dutifully followed him again as he made his way back to the lockers. “What am I doing wrong?”

  Blake flinched. Guess it was time to tell the truth. “Aaron, you’re trying too hard to be someone you’re not. You’re overly aggressive, for instance, when that’s not your nature. It’s like you’re an omega trying to pretend you’re an alpha wolf. You’re not. You’re a puppy, a pleaser, born to be conquered.”

  He dropped the towel, grabbed a fresh pair of boxers. This time, Aaron’s eyes did drop to Blake’s cock. They widened slightly as they took in Blake’s length and girth, both above average. Aaron swallowed and that movement shot straight to Blake’s balls. His mind created a vision of Aaron sucking his cock, swallowing his cum. So perfect. So right. What was this kid doing to him? That innocence was so damn alluring.

  His cock stirred, grew rigid. “It likes your attention,” Blake said, his voice hoarse. He wasn’t ashamed of his erection. Why would he be? Any gay man would get hard when a cute guy like Aaron checked him out so adorably. Aaron still didn’t peel away his eyes, so Blake kept standing, his cock growing fully erect till it proudly jutted forward.

  “How do I know if I’m a top or a bottom?”

  Aaron’s voice was slightly more than a whisper, but Blake gave him credit for even asking that question. It was so crucial to a gay man’s identity, and at least he’d informed himself of the right terminology.

  “If you look at me, if you see my cock all hard and ready for action, what do you imagine doing with it?”

  Aaron’s blush was fierce and instant, giving Blake the confirmation he never needed in the first place. “Ah, I see. Nice little fantasy of my cock filling you up, huh? That’s your answer, right there.”

  “Isn’t a bottom less than a top?”

  “Absolutely not. Straight people see it that way, because they consider being fucked as gayer than doing the fucking, but that’s bullshit. It’s not about more or less, or status. It’s about what brings you pleasure. For some gay men, anal sex isn’t pleasurable at all. There are gay couples that never go beyond blow jobs and hand jobs. Others are strictly top or bottom, and there are also those that enjoy both. It’s all good, Aaron, trust me.”

  “Do you…”

  Aaron didn’t finish the question, but Blake knew what he was asking. “I usually top. Bottoming is a trust issue for me, and with one-night stands I don’t have that level of trust, so topping is easier.”

  He was still rock hard, his cock completely interested in the conversation. Not much sense in putting on his underwear if it was gonna get stained with pre-cum. “Aaron, do me a favor, and lock the front door, would you? I don’t mind answering all these personal questions, but I’d rather not get disturbed.”

  No questions this time, merely quiet obedience. Fuck, he loved it when Aaron did what he told him.

  When Aaron came back into the locker room, his eyes were once again drawn toward Blake’s cock. A thought occurred to Blake. “Have you ever touched another dick than your own? Or seen one up close and personal?”

  Aaron shook his head. “No. And you’re circumcised, which looks different, too.”

  Blake stepped close to him, bringing his cock within reach for Aaron—and on eye level. “Wanna study me up close?” Aaron’s eyes flew upward, probably to check if Blake wasn’t joking in some crude way. “I’m serious. Go ahead, take your fill.”

  He could rationalize why he was doing it. Aaron needed to learn from someone safe, needed to gain knowledge and experience without getting hurt. That was one aspect and it definitely came into play. But on a whole different level, Blake loved being watched by the kid. His reactions were so pure, so adorable. And such a damn turn-on.

  Aaron bit his lip as he let his eyes trail down. He seemed to take in every detail, as if he was getting ready to draw a nude picture of Blake.

  “Are you big?” he asked.

  Yup, damn turn-on. “Bigger than average. And thicker, too. But not as big as some guys.”

  “Wouldn’t it hurt?”

  “For someone like me to fuck you, you mean? No, not if your partner does it right. There’s often some burning, a little discomfort, but it’s overshadowed by the pleasure it brings. Your hole is usually sensitive as I’m sure you’ve discovered by now.”

  Aaron looked at him quizzically.

  “You’ve never put anything in your hole? Ever?” Blake asked in surprise. “Not even a finger? Hot damn, we need to buy you a little anal dildo so you can fuck yourself. I guarantee you, you’re gonna erupt like a fucking volcano.”

  Aaron looked
at him in disbelief. Fuck, the kid was seriously missing out. What was holding him back from exploring his own body?

  “Can I touch you?”

  The question was so unexpected that Blake almost took a step back, but he held his ground. He did not see that one coming. Should he let the kid touch him? Might as well, since they’d gone this far already.

  Why was Aaron getting under his skin so much? Blake usually had iron self-control, but something about Aaron made his self-discipline crumble.

  “Sure.”

  He mentally braced himself as Aaron hesitantly reached out. His touch was feather light, just his index finger caressing the skin of Blake’s cock. He drew his finger forward, all the way to the tip.

  “The head is less sensitive than with uncut men. With uncut men, even a little nail will make them wince, whereas I love being scratched a little,” Blake said, trying to keep it educational. Yeah, right.

  It was as if he’d given Aaron a command. He shifted his finger slightly and drew his nail over Blake’s crown. He bit back a moan. This innocent touch was completely turning him on. Aaron turned his finger again and rubbed it over Blake’s slit, eliciting drops of precum. He rubbed back and forth a few times, until the entire crown was slick. Blake clenched his hands behind his back to keep from fisting himself. He was so damn hard, his muscles trembling with held-back need.

  All of a sudden Aaron’s head came forward, and his tongue peeped out of his mouth to lick Blake’s crown. This time, he couldn’t hold back a moan. Aaron licked him again, his hot, wet tongue lapping up new drops on his dick. Liquid heat rushed through Blake’s veins, making him sway a little. Aaron was destroying him, one lick and touch at a time.

  “I wondered what it would taste like,” Aaron whispered.

  “And? What does it taste like?”

  “Salty. Creamy. A little bitter. But like you.”

  The innocent words made Blake wobble, but he regained his balance. Aaron was showing more of his true nature than he’d ever done before. “Don’t stop on my account,” he said with a low voice.