No Shame Read online

  “Hi,” Brad said, with that cute, shy smile.

  “Hi back atcha. That was pretty intense, man. The good intense. I’ve never come so hard.”

  The proud smile on Brad’s face did funny things to Miles’ insides. Why did the guy take such pride in pleasing Miles, a complete stranger? He was an enigma, this one.

  “They say an anal orgasm is different from a penile one, so I wondered how it would feel for you to have them both on top of each other.”

  “Really, really, really good. That’s how that felt, in case you were wondering.”

  Brad grinned. “I got that impression, yeah.”

  “Any chance you’d be willing to help me shower?”

  5

  Brad’s post-fuck exuberance vanished instantly. It had felt so good, Miles’ thick cock inside him. And that double-orgasm had wrecked Miles in the best way. The bliss on his face had been all Brad had hoped for.

  Now, the man wanted to shower. Showering meant being naked. There was no way in hell Brad was stripping completely in front of Miles. He was already insecure as it was, afraid Miles would spot it even with his boxers on. Charlie had said it wasn’t visible unless you knew or really paid attention, but Brad wasn’t taking any chances. The man was an FBI agent, after all.

  “It’s okay if you want to leave your boxers on,” Miles said. “You can borrow a pair of mine afterward.”

  Did he know? Brad hadn’t seen him study his groin, but still. Or maybe he’d picked up on his reluctance to be naked and wanted to respect that? That seemed more likely.

  “Okay,” he said. He could hardly say no. Miles needed to shower, first of all, and who else could help him? Even more, Brad wanted to take care of him, serve him. If it hadn’t been for the entirely naked requirement, he’d jump at the opportunity right away. It was still a risk, but he didn’t see any other way.

  “Thank you.”

  Miles was so polite, always thanking him. He had no idea what pleasuring him meant to Brad. He didn’t need the thanks.

  “I need to take off these bandages first. Noah will put new ones one later,” Miles said.

  “I’ll do it.”

  Brad kneeled next to Miles, helped him sit up on the bed. He swiftly unwound the bandage around his chest. There were still some blood crusts underneath, but it didn’t bother him. The incision on his belly was healing well, as far as Brad could tell. He’d only ever had the one surgery, but he’d seen his brother Blake after his and that had looked pretty similar—though Blake’s wound had been way bigger. No wonder, they’d had to cut him open entirely.

  He rolled off the bed, held out both his hands so Miles could pull himself sideways. He did, but it cost him effort. Brad leaned in to help him stand up, then slung the man’s arm around his shoulders so he could take part of his weight. Step by step, they made it into the bathroom.

  He helped Miles sit down on the bench in the shower. Mighty convenient that this shower was handicapped accessible. At least Miles could sit down the entire time. Brad turned on the shower, waited till the water had the right temperature, then handed Miles the shower head. “Here, hold it on yourself. I’ll wash your hair.”

  They barely spoke as Brad shampooed his hair, then helped him rinse it. He’d found washcloths in a bathroom cabinet, had taken one. The shower gel smelled fresh, ocean-scented. He squeezed out a healthy amount and started washing Miles from his neck down.

  Miles groaned, not unlike he did when Brad was pleasuring him. “Feels good?” Brad asked.

  “You have no idea.”

  By the time he’d rinsed Miles, the guy was looking mighty pale again. Time to rest, Brad reckoned. He toweled him off, noting with deep satisfaction that Miles’ cock stayed soft. He’d worn him out for now, which according to his information was no small feat.

  He helped him back to the bedroom, still half wet himself and wearing soggy boxers. They were not coming off, though. Not in front of Miles, anyway. He quickly helped him into a pair of soft pajama bottoms.

  “There’s boxers of mine in the drawer,” Miles said. “Feel free to grab a pair.”

  Brad did, closing the bathroom door behind him as he dried himself off completely and put the boxers on. They were a little wide on him, but he preferred that. He always bought his underwear at least a size bigger so it would conceal more.

  Miles’ eyes were closed when he stepped back in. Must have fallen asleep again. Brad got dressed quickly, making as little noise as he could.

  “You can sleep here tonight, if you want,” Miles suddenly said.

  Brad turned around, startled. “Oh. Erm, thank you, but no. I wanna hang out with Charlie, and I have to work tomorrow.”

  Miles opened one eye. “Yeah, so? You can come back after spending time with Charlie and get up early. I don’t mind.”

  Brad put his jacket on, grabbed his backpack. “I do mind.” He sighed. Better make this crystal clear. “This is sex, Miles, nothing more.”

  Miles opened his other eye as well, leaned halfway on his side to make eye contact. “It could be more, maybe. I like you.”

  Brad scoffed. “You like that I can satisfy you sexually, that’s all. You don’t know me at all.”

  “Maybe I want to get to know you.”

  Brad walked out. With the door knob in his hand, he looked over his shoulder. “I don’t want you to get to know me. I want to make you come, but that’s all you’re gonna get from me. Get some rest.”

  * * *

  Miles woke up groggy, unsure of where he was for a second. He blinked, turned his head to investigate the noise that had woke him up. Brad was sitting on a chair across from him, tying his shoes. Max was right next to him, observing him, it seemed.

  Right, he was in Indy’s guest room.

  “Hi,” he whispered.

  Brad looked up. “Hi. Sorry if I woke you up. I left my shoes here yesterday.”

  “S okay. Where are you going?”

  Brad looked at him as if he was stupid. “Work. It’s Friday morning.”

  Miles pushed himself into a half-sitting position. “Right. Sorry. Not entirely awake yet.” He dragged a hand through his hair, discovered that it was standing up straight, way past what he could pull off as a bedroom look.

  Would things be weird, after Brad’s parting words yesterday? It had been potentially humiliating, to admit you liked someone, only to be shot down like that. Yet it hadn’t felt that way to Miles. There was a hell of a lot more going on with Brad than a mere rejection because he didn’t like Miles. No, this guy was hiding stuff, which made Miles all the more determined to keep digging.

  Brad himself looked a tad pale. It was hard to spot considering his slightly darker complexion, but Miles was a trained observer. Brad was tired. “Did you get any sleep?” Miles asked.

  Brad rose, looked down on Miles with surprise. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You’re the guy with all the injuries and shit.”

  He’d expertly dodged the question, Miles noted. What was it with Brad that he kept everyone at a distance? Why was even a simple inquiry like this too close for comfort for him?

  Miles offered him a slow grin, despite his thoughts. “It is a very comfortable bed.”

  “You and I will have to make sure to thoroughly test it,” Brad said.

  Miles was hard instantly. Brad was so uninhibited about sex. Aside from the fact that he wouldn’t let Miles see him naked, that was.

  Brad noticed his arousal, shot him a semi-exasperated look. “Not now, I have to leave for work. I can’t be late.”

  “Then don’t say shit like that. Massive turn on, man,” Miles complained. He reached for his cock, rearranged it so it wasn’t as uncomfortable.

  “Oh, what the fuck. I’ll suck you off. But you better fucking come fast, you hear me?”

  Completely dressed, he kneeled beside the bed and gently pulled Miles toward him. He whipped Miles’ cock out of his pajama bottoms before Miles could say another word. Fuck, he loved it when Brad got so wanton. He wa
s such an enigma, shy and struggling for words one second, and then all sexy and almost desperate the next.

  Miles’ hands went to Brad’s head, dug into his curls. He loved holding him like that when Brad sucked him off. Holy fuck, the boy could suck cock. Miles already felt his orgasm building.

  A door squeaked, and Miles stiffened, but Brad was unrelenting. He sucked him in deep, let Miles fuck his throat. Someone was coming into the room, dammit. Should he let go of Brad’s head? Brad’s grip on his base intensified. Footsteps came into the room. Miles’ hips bucked, his body prioritizing orgasming before anything else.

  “Brad?”

  Oh, fuck, that had to be Charlie. Miles hadn’t seen him yet, but he recognized his voice from hearing him talk to the others in the living room yesterday. He stepped into sight now, the cutest face Miles had ever seen. Charlie spotted them on the bed, and his eyes widened.

  Brad would have to stop now, right? Miles was so close, dammit. Brad held up a finger to Charlie, as if to indicate he needed one more minute. Miles wouldn’t, not if he kept sucking like that.

  “Oooohhh!” Miles groaned, jerked into Brad’s mouth as he came.

  Brad licked him clean efficiently, then tucked his cock back in. “There, that should tide you over till I get back. Should be around four fifteen.”

  He rose, licked his lips in a gesture that did strange things to Miles’ insides. “Hey babe,” he said to Charlie. “Sorry, needed to get my morning protein shake in.”

  He kissed Charlie on the lips, and the kid crumpled his nose. “I can still taste him on you,” Charlie said.

  Brad chuckled. “Little protein for you, too, then. He tastes good, you know. Anyway, I gotta go. See you this afternoon, okay?”

  He kissed him again, and Charlie didn’t seem to mind. Definitely too affectionate for casual friends. What was the story with these two? Seconds later, Brad was out the door, and Miles was left with Charlie and Max.

  “Hi,” he said gamely. He managed to push himself up into a sitting position, made sure to cover himself completely. What the fuck did you say when a complete stranger saw you getting a blow job? “I’m Miles, as you’ve probably figured out.”

  “The constantly horny FBI agent,” Charlie said.

  Miles winced. “Yeah, that would be me.” He cleared his throat, acutely embarrassed. “Sorry you had to see that.”

  “No worries. Brad gives me a play by play anyway, so it’s not like you had any secrets to begin with.”

  Miles swallowed. “He what?” That had to be a joke, right? Brad, who you had to force to reveal anything, had told Charlie about the sex with Miles? What the fuck?

  “He didn’t tell you?”

  “Brad doesn’t tell me much of anything.”

  Charlie let out a sound that appeared to be a laugh. “Too busy making you come, huh?”

  Miles didn’t know what to say to that one. “But apparently, he tells you a lot, huh?”

  “More than others anyway.”

  Imagine that, Brad did actually confide in someone. What did Charlie have to do to make Brad trust him?

  “How did you two become friends?” Miles asked.

  “He was my teacher,” Charlie said.

  “Come again?”

  “Brad. He was my math teacher in high school. I was a junior, and he was a substitute for my real math teacher who had a heart attack. He was fresh out of college and substituting when he saw me getting stuffed into a garbage can by some jocks who objected to my sexual orientation. He intervened, and became a sort of mentor to me afterward.”

  Miles’ mouth was slightly open. “Brad’s a math teacher?”

  “Yeah. He teaches middle school now. You didn’t know?”

  “No. I asked him what he did for a living, but he wouldn’t tell me.” And now Miles wondered why. It wasn’t like math teacher was a profession to be embarrassed about. Why had Brad not even want to share that with Miles?

  Charlie looked at him, his gaze surprisingly sharp considering how damn early it still was. “Do you like him?” he asked.

  Miles could pretend he didn’t know who Charlie was talking about, but there was little sense. “Yeah, I do. He’s a puzzle to me, one I can’t seem to figure out.”

  Charlie sighed. “He’s not easy, but he’s worth getting to know. If you want to, that is.”

  “I’d love to get to know him better, if he would let me.”

  Another puff from Charlie. “Brad’s defensive mechanism is highly developed,” he said.

  “I’ll say. I’ve encountered porcupines that were less prickly than him. But I also saw how sweet he can be, with you just now, for instance.” Miles let the implicit question linger.

  “He’s different with me,” Charlie affirmed. “He always has been, but I think it was because I was so young when we met. I didn’t start out as his equal, so to speak.”

  Miles frowned, trying to make sense of what Charlie was saying. What was going on with Brad? Did it have something to do with whatever secret Brad had that he was trying to guard, something both Charlie and his cop-boyfriend had known?

  Noises were drifting into the room that Miles didn’t recognize.

  Charlie cocked his head, seemed to listen as well. “It’s, erm, Connor and Josh,” he said, looking sheepishly. “They’re quite expressive.”

  Seconds later, more sounds joined in, and Charlie sighed. “And that would be Noah and Indy. Sorry, it can get crazy like that here.”

  They both listened for a bit, as the sounds intensified. Charlie sighed, then walked over to the door and closed it.

  “Let’s watch some TV until they’re done,” he said.

  “You wanna hang out here with me?” Miles asked, surprised at the level of trust Charlie displayed here.

  “Sure,” Charlie said easily. “Brad likes you, and that’s enough for me. He’s never wrong about people. Plus, the fact that you’re staying here says enough. From what I understand, these are not trusting folks by nature, yet they took you in and set you up with Brad. That must mean you’re a good man.”

  “Wow. Thank you. That’s unexpected, but thank you.”

  They installed themselves, each on a side of the king size bed. Miles sat up against the headboard, pillows propped in his back for comfort, while Charlie lay on his stomach on the bed. He found a morning show for them to watch, and Miles relaxed. Max walked around in a few circles, before deciding to plot his butt down on the carpet, and seconds later, the dog was napping.

  It sure was a nice set up Indy and Noah had in their bedroom, and Miles did feel a tad guilty for making them sleep in the guest room. Well, he didn’t make them. Hell, he hadn’t even asked them. They’d willingly offered. And judging by the sounds, it wasn’t like it was hindering their sex life. Holy hell, Indy had not been kidding when he said they were open about sex. It took some getting used to, that was for sure.

  “You’re hard,” Charlie said suddenly, pointing at Miles’ tenting pajama bottoms under the sheets.

  He hadn’t even noticed, caught up in his thoughts and used as he’d become to his body’s reactions.

  “Yes.”

  Should he explain? But if Brad told Charlie everything, he’d already know, correct?

  “Do you need some privacy?”

  Miles blinked. Fuck, the kid was considerate. “Erm, no, but thank you. This will go down by itself, since Brad…Yeah, anyway.”

  “Okay.” Charlie turned his attention back to the TV, and when he didn’t say anything else Miles slowly relaxed again. Miles covered his groin with a pillow to at least spare Charlie the sight of his hard on. For almost an hour, they watched the morning shows companionably, commenting on some crazy segments, and laughing at the antics.

  Someone knocked on the door. “Guys?” Indy.

  “Come on in,” Miles called out. He muted the TV.

  “Good morning. We were wondering where you’d gone, Charlie.”

  The unspoken question was clear. Indy wanted to know what the f
uck Miles was doing here with Charlie. It warmed him, this care.

  “The morning sex was getting a little loud for our comfort, so we retreated in here,” Charlie said before Miles could say anything. Miles swallowed. Apparently, Charlie didn’t have much of a filter when it came to sex, either. He’d never considered himself to be a prude, but compared to these people, he damn well was.

  “Oh. Right. We’re done fucking, for now, so do you guys wanna come into the kitchen for breakfast? Josh is making pancakes from scratch.”

  * * *

  The scene was almost surreal to Charlie. Here he was, sitting in this picture-perfect kitchen on a Friday morning, surrounded by gay men, eating the best damn pancakes he’d ever had. All that was missing was Brad, who was at work. It was like scene from a cheesy commercial or something, except for Miles who was obviously in pain.

  Miles hadn’t asked Charlie anything personal when they’d hung out. Charlie had figured the man had to be wondering why Charlie was staying there, but maybe Brad had at least shared bare facts of the assault with him? Charlie had felt self-conscious, but only for a little, and then Miles had gotten a boner, and he’d stopped feeling sorry for himself. Now there was a guy with a problem. Holy hell, he would not want to trade with him.

  Next to him, Miles struggled to cut a piece of his pancake, his movements stiff. It must still hurt for him to put pressure on his hand.

  “Here,” Charlie said softly, “I’ll do it.” He cut off a piece for Miles, held it out on the fork.

  “Thank you,” Miles said before taking the bite.

  Charlie took another piece himself. Man, these pancakes were so good. Josh should be a fucking chef. He caught Max’s pleading look and sneakily snuck him a piece of pancake, too.

  He reached for Miles’ plate, cut the pancake into little pieces. “Can you get them, or do you want me to help you?”

  “This will work. Thank you.”

  Miles was nice. Truly, honestly nice. Charlie could easily spot the reasons for Brad’s attraction to Miles, even if his friend swore up and down it was just sex. He always said that, but it was never just sex with Brad, only he fucking refused to acknowledge that. His self-preservation instinct was so damn strong he’d do anything to prevent getting hurt. Charlie had given up on trying to confront him. It would work itself out. Or not.